The Daermon Chronicles
by Kage Risu
Summary: A story of a young halfling and his not so great adventures.
1. Chapter Schwam

The Adventures of Daermon  
  
ok, i dont own any of this stuff. so please enjoy the story about a small halfling who changes the world in a big way. kind of.  
  
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And so our story begins in a small town called Venyin. This is a town of a variety of races. We have the humans, the gnomes, and of course, the good ol' halflings. We zoom in on a temple on the town's outscirts. More specifically, we zoom in on the main alter where we see a young halfling kneeling before the high priest. The high priest begins to speak. Let's listen in on them for balckmail!  
  
Priest- Oh great and all powerful Oz! oh wait, wrong thing. Well, whatever god I praise, please give this young man...  
  
  
  
He is interupted  
  
Halfling- Ah hem?  
  
Priest- Sorry. Please give this halfling the courage to go on even in the darkest of shadows.  
  
With that said, the halfling rises and walks out of the temple. There he is greated by the towns militia.  
  
Militia- Long story short, we love you. Oops! We mean take this horse and lance and thwart evil! YA, that's what we meant.  
  
Halfling- But im only 2 feet tall.  
  
Militia- Then take this cool belt of storm giant strenght and this ladder of hight.  
  
Halfling- Which does?  
  
Militia- Gets big to get you to high places. Well, later halfling  
  
Halfling- I have a name you know.  
  
Militia- So? You're a paladin now. go thwart evil or somethin.  
  
Halfling- OK!  
  
And so, our hero left the city that didn't even know his name to go on an amazing adventure. Well, hese in for a surprise.  
  
Halfling- Come now, TELL THEM MY NAME!  
  
ok. next chapter.  
  
Halfling- Damn It! 


	2. Chapter Doo

The Second Chapter Baby!   
  
So our hero sets off on his grand adventure to thwart evil and stuff with his belt that gives him super cool strength, 6 foot tall horse, 5 foot long lance (the weapon moron), and a ladder that can extend to any length (i'm sorry but i cant resist. put any joke u want here guys.)  
  
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Halfling- You said that u would tell the reader my name!  
  
Fine. the guys name is Daniel Andrew Ethen Rick Mathew Otto Nickolson Fizzleborp the Fourth. Or for short Daermon Fizzleborp the Fourth. Look at the first letter of every name except Fizzleborp and add them together in order of appearence. I is only going to call him Fizzleborp.   
  
Fizzleborp- Thank you  
  
Will you continue the story now?  
  
Fizzleborp- O.K. So reader, here is the situation. I is on my horse riding into the DARK FOREST!!!!  
  
How odd that almost every good guy goes into a DARK FOREST!!!!  
  
Fizzleborp- Agreed.  
  
So anyway, you are in the forest and you come across a stinking pile of carcasses. next to the pile is some odd lookin thing that looks like it wants to bite off your arm and use as a midnight snack.  
  
Fizzleborp- Hault Evil doer! I shall slay thee for thy sins!  
  
OK, why does he talk all funny? I dont know i was askin you. Dont you get that tone with me! oh really? you wanna fight! ok ok, i give you win. oh, sorry for interupting the fight between Fizzleborp and the evil thingy. got in a fight with my better half. I sher taught him! lets see how our hero is doin.  
  
Fizzleborp- HA HA! I have slain thee!  
  
Sorry again reader.  
  
Fizzleborp- Oh it was so cool! i cant beleive that the reader missed it!  
  
I have decided to end the chapter short.  
  
EEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter Two n' Heif

Welcome to the third chapter of my wonderfull story. Now, i know i have probably dissapointed you up to this point, and for that, i am sorry. but now that i have loads of free time, i will be able to bring you the entertainment you so desire. Now on to the story!  
  
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Now our hero, Fizzleborp, has done a great deed for good and is back on his horse(magic ladder, keep in mind) and rides deaper into the DARK FOREST!!! He is surrounded by many trees(duh, forest) and can't help but feel that he is being watched.  
  
Fizzleborp- My halfling paladin senses are tingling! I think something is watching me!  
  
He notices a fork in the road. on the right side, there is a sign saying OUT OF ORDER! wich is really odd and on the left side there is a conviently placed gang of what seems to be, u guessed D&D fans! Yes, a gang of orcs!  
  
Fizzleborp- smart orcs aren't they? i meen, they set up an out of order sign on the other side so i have to go to the other, wich is where they is. well, time to go thwart evil and stuff!  
  
Well, they walk up to you and go "only a snack? Damn! oh well"  
  
what do you do?  
  
Fizzleborp-Why do you act like a DM?(D&D lingo lesson schwam-DM-Dungeon master. basically the bearer of bad news. long story short, runs the game.)  
  
Cause i love the job and it makes it easier for me to tell the story.  
  
Fizzleborp- ok. now dont interupt the battle sequence!  
  
ok. btw, they,they being the orcs, attack u. what do u do?  
  
Fizzleborp- i jump off my horse and attack the nearest orc with my trusty lance!  
  
ok u attack...ok u are over 5 feet away so no AoO(D&D lingo lesson doo-AoO-Attack of Opportunity. if u or opponent moves over 10 feet and comes within 5 feet of u, u can attack him on the spot.)...u roll a d20(D&D lingo lesson two n' heif-d20-a 20 sided die. many other tipes exist such as the d4 wich has 4 sides, d6 wich has 6 sides, d8,d10,d12,and d100.)and out comes a 10...ur modifier is +3...so 13... u miss.  
  
Fizzlborp-Damn It!  
  
ok so there is a total of 3 orcs. one of um moves over 10 feet to goet to u.  
  
Fizzleborp-AoO!  
  
k. u roll a...20!roll to confirm critical... a 20! crit hit!  
  
Fizzleborp-Awesome!  
  
Rolling a d10 for dmg... 1... add strenght bonus...for a total of 6.  
  
And i decide that this particular band of orcs are weak and have only 5 hit points.u killed it.  
  
Fizzleborp- YES!!!  
  
And the other two go "oh crap" and leave.  
  
Fizzleborp-ooooohhhhhhhhhhh.  
  
btw, u now just noticed a huge ass tower. it sucks you in.  
  
Fizzleborp- uncoool.  
  
Will Fizzleborp make through the tower? will he find out what sucked him in? will he find out why? stay tuned for next week's episode. same bat time, same bat channel. 


End file.
